Avocados are tricky bastards

It would seem that Mike is not content to let it rest until everyone in the known universe knows that I sliced my finger off while making the guacamole last night. A blood bath ensued, I was rushed to the hospital where doctors tried desperately to save my finger, and the surgeon screamed, Don’t quit on me now, you bastard! no less than three times after I passed out. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to save my finger. We had a private memorial service this morning with pictures of my finger through the years set to Green Day’s Time of Your Life.. We finished the service with a funeral pyre and bagpipers playing Amazing Grace. It was beautiful.

Okay, so maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Mike is holding it over my head that I cut my finger pretty badly while slicing the avocado for my guacamole last night, though. But seriously, it’s not my fault! You know how you’ll be drinking something and everything is just fine, but the ice has melted together and it suddenly rushes toward you and now you’re like the coach who won the Super Bowl? It was like that…but with avocado. And it’s not like I get injured ALL the time. That’s the worst injury I’ve had since slicing off the tip of my thumb with a mandoline in January.

……..seriously, it’s not my fault!

3 thoughts on “Avocados are tricky bastards

  1. omg… too funny…

    And mandolines are sneaky bastards. The slicey kind, not the musical instrument. I too lost a bit of my right middle finger to one once. Bastard bled for a day. They give you that dumb plastic guard thing but then you can’t push the stuff through or you miss slicing half of it cause the plastic thingie can’t get as dangerously close to the blade as your fingers can. You aren’t supposed to be wasteful right? So what if there’s a little bit of human blood in the vegan eggplant parmesan? (and why is google chrome telling me parmesan should be capitalized?)

    • Exactly! And that’s what happened with me. It’s really hard to use the guard with carrot. And everything was going fine….you know…until it wasn’t. The carrot got stuck and sabotaged me.

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