The Christmas song I hate the most

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One of my favorite things about Christmas is the music. Even when I feel bah humbug, listening to Christmas songs and carols returns my mind to the peace and joy of Advent. There is, however, one Christmas song which is absolutely repugnant to me. I’ve never understood why people, especially women, sang it. I’ve never understood how people can listen to it and not at least go, Ummmmm……. The song in question? Baby, It’s Cold Outside.

IT’S. ABOUT. DATE. RAPE. Seriously! It is no less than a glorification/laughing off/really uncomfortable singing about date rape all in the name of the baby Jesus’s birthday. For those of you not familiar with the song, here and here. I really don’t understand how anyone could read the lyrics or hear the song and not see it as a song about date rape. Let’s break it down.

I really can’t stay.

Thank you, and good night! Seriously. That should be the end of it. Song over. *sigh* But I suppose we can indulge this a little longer. After all, this song did win an Academy Award. Different time. Different levels of what was acceptable culturally. Let’s just brush past the lines that imply that this is what she really wants because the “excuses” she’s giving are all about what everyone else will think. Such a cock tease!

Say, what’s in this drink?

Okay. There. Even if he didn’t actually drug the drink, he made it strong enough to incapacitate her. He can’t get her to willingly stay, so he’s going to try to arrange the conditions which will prevent her from leaving. Obviously, she can’t be persuaded through words and charm, so let’s drunk this bitch up! But, Julie, you say, She chose to take the drink and keep drinking. If she’s drunk and incapacitated, isn’t that her fault? Sure, rape apologist. Let’s go with your thing. It was stupid of her to trust this man to not incapacitate her so he could take advantage.

The answer is no.

That’s it. End of story. She is not giving, as my oldest and professionally loud friend, Beth, would call, enthusiastic consent. Quite the opposite. N. O….. No. A word so easy to understand that it is used throughout toddlerhood.

Of course, that’s not the end of the song. He keeps at it, eventually ending the song in unison, with the implication that *giggle giggle* *wink* *nudge*


Last Christmas, Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele addressed this on their show, Key & Peele. Never before had I seen or heard of anyone calling this song out for what it is. Enjoy!

Writing difficulties


I’m having a hard time writing lately. I even rewrote the title to this post four times, and I’m still not happy with it. I’ve written a couple of posts and have one in draft mode now, but I either end of deleting them or can’t finish them because the writing just won’t flow.

Today school is closed because of a winter storm. The trees are glazed with ice, snow is covering the ground, and tiny icicles are dripping from my deck rail.
I am hoping that today will be a good day to make gingerbread houses from scratch and I’ll be able to write about that. I am hoping that today will not be like yesterday, which involved EVERYTHING going wrong, to include: absolute chaos during tree trimming; much screaming at the children and tears; complete and utter depressed mood; missing the entire second half of Frozen because Zoë refused to sit still and lost her damn mind. We spent a lot of time in the arcade not playing games. She just really liked messing with the levers and looking at all the animation that was so intense and flashy that it came with a warning for epileptics.

So, here’s to a new day and hope that I’ll be able to start putting coherent sentences together again.

Christmas giving

It’s only December 4th, and I’m already exhausted by Christmas and all that it entails. Parties and shopping and baking; it’s all piling on like the tinsel that you still find strands of in your house in mid-March. I realized today that I’m already tired of buying shit, and I’ve only just begun Christmas shopping. I’m also overwhelmed by all the charities that need help. I want to pick them all up and squish them in a big hug that absolutely fixes everything. I hate the idea of choosing, knowing that giving my money one place means that someone elsewhere may go without. SOLUTION: Do nothing and hide under the covers until December 26th!

*peeks out from under covers* No. Of course not. A choice needs to be made. Perhaps you are on the same quandary and need assistance in choosing where you’d like to help this holiday season? The list below is by no means comprehensive, but is a good place to start.

World Vision
You can do more than sponsor children through World Vision. You can donate to help provide medicine, clothing, food, clean water, and micro loans. There is even a special category for giving to women and girls who need education, career training, and help because of sexual exploitation. Last year Mike and I each gave our parents chickens. Or, rather, we donated chickens in their honor. Just think of the possibilities! You can tell people that you gave someone a goat for Christmas!

Hill Country Hill Tribers
“Hill Country Hill Tribers works primarily with refugees from Burma, members of various Burmese hill tribes who now starting new lives in the Hill Country of Texas. Forced to leave their farms and villages, sometimes with very little warning, these artisans carried bamboo looms through the jungle to safety, dedicated to continuing the traditional art of backstrap weaving that has been passed down for generations from mother to daughter.
In Austin, these weavers are joined by other skilled artisans to make up Hill Country Hill Tribers. By crafting beautiful products in their homes and gathering together often, these artisans are weaving a community in Austin that is rooted in their past and reaching toward a new future.”

Check out the work of these women. It’s absolutely gorgeous! You can give someone, (or get yourself) a fabulous gift and help others.
You can also find some amazing things through the fair trade organization, Ten Thousand Villages.

Thistle Farms
If you have someone on your list who loves bath and body products, consider Thistle Farms. Women recovering from prostitution and trafficking make these products. All proceeds go directly back to the women who make them.

Project Night Night
This organization provides homeless children with security blankets, books, and a stuffed animal. So often, the focus is on providing solely physical and material needs. This organization takes it a step further by providing for the cognitive and emotional needs of children.

I found these while shopping for Christmas cards today at Hallmark. Purchase of these cards donates to UNICEF to provide 108 doses of Vitamin A to boost the eyesight and immune systems of children.

Finally, chocolate. I have to admit that it was really hard to walk past all of the gorgeous gems of Christmas candy at the mall today and not snag some for stockings. Our family is slowly making the switch to fair trade chocolate. And to be honest, it’s not easy. Unless someone knows where to find fair trade mini M & M look alikes with which to decorate sugar cookies? It’s not going to be perfect, but it’s worth a try. I had no idea until last year that the cacao harvested for companies like Hershey and Nestlé is generally done through the use of child slave labor. I know it costs more to buy fair trade, but clearly there’s a reason for that.
Where can you buy fair trade? A lot of American markets are beginning to carry fair trade chocolate bars. I usually find it in my market’s specialty organic section. But you can also find it online on a company’s website or even Amazon.

Divine Chocolate
The great thing about them, aside from being fair trade, is that they actually have baking bars, too! Christmas confection is saved! And they’re really not any more expensive than buying bars of, say, Ghiradelli baking chocolate.

Green and Black’s
Really delicious, with a lot of unique flavor combinations. I can personally recommend the milk chocolate, the mint, and the dark currant and hazelnut.

So, what’s your favorite charity?

ETA: Found M&Mish candies!