I really wish that, if my body is going to fuck me over, it would have the courtesy to at least buy me a drink first. It doesn’t have to be special. Just buy me a Sidecar and feign interest. You know, just a little, “Really? Me too! Wow, we have so much in common!” And hey, I won’t even want it to stay the night or call me later.

Just a drink, and then leave me the fuck alone.