A Little Less Close to Fine

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Today, June 26, 2015, will henceforth be known as the day the Supreme Court of the United States dropped a massive glitter bomb, which exploded all over America.  In a 5-4 decision, the Justices declared that gay couples are entitled to equal protection under the law and may now marry in any of these United States.  The LGBT community and its allies across the nation are celebrating with tears of joy, parades, (tomorrow) Facebook posts, and GIFable videos with confetti.

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While I’m happy for gay couples everywhere, it makes me wonder if anyone has taken a moment during their revelry to think about the rest of us. Does anyone realize how much this ruling turns our worlds upside down?  “Who’s ‘us’ and ‘our’?”, you ask.  Why, straight people, of course.  A cornucopia of choices has been released from a heteronormative Pandora’s box. Single ladies unable to find a man may choose to switch their sexual preference to other single ladies in hopes of putting a ring on it.  Committed and loving straight couples will abandon their marriages now that they have options.

I wonder why they didn’t think of the children?  I hope everyone is prepared for all the Sarah McLachlan commercials with which we will now be inundated. With the dramatic increase of the birth rate that gay marriage will bring, so many children will need loving homes.  And as marriage is nothing more than an institution for procreation, we will now need to fear for the future of our species, as birth rates will begin to plunge.  SCOTUS clearly didn’t think this through.  Children’s mental well-being and sense of stability will simply vanish.  While science clearly shows us that children thrive in orphanages and being bounced from foster home to foster home, now that gay “marriage” is allowed, these children will be forced into so-called loving and stable homes.  Addtionally, these children, who were once straight, will be converted to homosexuality with more exposure to same-sex couples.

I’m sorry to say that I know all of this to be true from experience.  As this blog is entitled, Julie, Unfiltered, I feel a duty to be honest in how this Supreme Court decision affects my family and I. Beginning today, Mike and I will move to end our marriage.  In the wake of today’s decision, our loving and committed relationship has been rendered meaningless.  I intend to marry our cat, Miss Andry.  We know that getting the law to recognize our love will be an uphill battle, but we feel today’s Court decision has paved the way and will make our journey a little less bumpy.  In our spare time, we plan to tour with the Indigo Girls.

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